Listening to the stories of sex trafficking survivors provides an invaluable glimpse into the horrors of modern day slavery. In this interview, Stop Modern Day Slavery founder Rachel speaks with Jose, a man who had been sold for sex at 16-years-old.
I grew up in a small town, Navasota, Texas. I was planning for my college career, I was an honor roll student, I played and participated in many sports and school clubs. I had dreams and goals for myself, but that quickly came to an end when my parents went through my phone and found out I was gay.
“I’m only going to ask you one more time. Are you gay?” My father asked me as he backhanded me, causing me to blackout and hit the floor. He kicked me in my abdomen as I laid on the floor in pain.
When the police arrived after my father beat me, I thought they were going to help me and be on my side. They told me that I could send him to jail but he would get out the next day and possibly cause more harm. They then told me it might be best for me to leave and stay with a family member. I felt like they weren’t on my side. Instead, I felt I was being judged because of my sexuality. I was the problem, not the abuser.
A couple of days went on and my father asked me how I was going to be “fixed.” The only answer I could come up with was to move me somewhere new where I could start all over and I promised I could change. I was fifteen years old, and my parents moved me four hours away to San Antonio, Texas with a cousin.
Moving to a new and large city, I felt alone and spent most of my time online, Myspace to be exact. I came in contact with a 36-year-old man who sexually abused me and made me think we were in a relationship.
When I went home for the summer, my father confronted me and asked if I had changed. I felt I should tell him that this is who I am, and that I could not change even if I wanted to. My father gave me an ultimatum. “Either you are going to conversion therapy camp, or you need to get out of my house!”
I moved in with the 36-year-old man at age 16 where he sexually abused me multiple times a day for a couple of months. I went back home once I realized he was sleeping with other teenagers. I was only home for a week until my father kicked me out again.
I went to a friend’s place with nowhere else to go and went online to a gay chat site and began chatting with a man named Jason Gandy. He asked me how my day was going, and I told him that my parents kicked me out because I came out to them.
He empathized with me and told me that he had friends who went through the same, but he was fortunate enough to have a family that accepted him. He then told me of a pressure washer business he sold when he was 15 and mentioned it sold for over a million dollars. He then told me he owned a nine-bedroom home in Austin, Texas, and said that he wanted to help me and offer me a place to stay. He said he felt obligated and couldn’t live knowing he had so much space and didn’t offer me help.
After contemplating for several hours, I made the decision to go with him. I did not have any other options. He picked me up in my small town and brought me to Houston, Texas.
After a few days of being with him, he told me that one day I would want to be independent and want to provide for myself. He said he knew what I could do to start saving money. He introduced me to massage.
Jason told me we could give four-hand massages together, this meant two people giving a massage at the same time on one person. Once I agreed, he quickly began snapping shirtless photos of me to post online to search for clients.
The clients were very successful, married, straight men. I realized we weren’t just giving massages. The door was closed and locked as I was instructed to take my clothing off. I felt trapped, and all of the thoughts of leaving or saying no ended, knowing what these two men were capable of.
As time went on, the massages worsened, but I began to notice Jason’s infatuation with even younger children. I began to plan my escape. I returned with the 36-year-old man sexually abused me and then slowly moved on from him. I was left with many mental health symptoms and not knowing how to manage them, I quickly went down a dark path.
Wow. Thank you for sharing. When did you realize that you were being groomed and used by Jason? At what point did you understand that he wasn’t taking care of you, but taking advantage of you?
I realized that I was being used by Jason the second we walked into the first massage. Just us having to remove our clothing, I knew that what was happening was wrong. I never realized that he was not caring for me until after I left him. When I was in it, I couldn’t make sense of everything. I was in survival mode.
What methods of coercion and manipulation did your trafficker employ to control you? What kept you from running away or seeking help?
Jason began grooming me by offering me money, a home, and schooling. He knew exactly what to say to get me to go with him, based on what I needed. I was mentally trapped. I had nowhere else to go, and he knew this. Once I was in the “business,” I knew that if I said no or decided to leave, something bad was going to happen to me.
Were there any signs of human trafficking that people around you ignored? How could they have helped you?
There were many signs of human trafficking and being with a pedophile. The 36-year-old was a teacher at a local middle school, and parents of his students would see us out together and asked if I was his son. The school counselor knew I was in and out of school and never asked what was going on. The police came to the 36-year-old’s apartment and not once asked for my ID or my age. Jason and I looked very different in age and race. The signs were always there, people never asked because they knew I was gay and turned a blind eye.
How awful. Can you tell me how being trafficked affected your mental health?
It took years for me to understand that what happened to me was affecting me mentally. I was drinking and partying and getting into trouble for it. Suddenly, I no longer had those same dreams and goals I had before. I was depressed, had anxiety, and PTSD.
I’m so sorry to hear that. How were you ultimately able to escape? How was your transition from being trafficked to being free?
I ended up planning my escape by sending out a text to the 36-year-old to come and get me. The problem with movies like Taken is that most trafficking stories involve people who trust each other. Jason didn’t need to tie me down because he knew he could trust me, and he knew that I had nowhere else to go. Physically, I was free to do what I wanted, but mentally, I felt like if I showed him I couldn’t be trusted or that I was going to go to the police, I feared what Jason would do to me.
Was it difficult to stand up to Jason in court? Do you think his punishment was fair?
I thought the hardest part was going to be seeing Jason for the first time in over a decade but it wasn’t. The hardest part was when the US Attorneys asked me to identify myself in a photo they projected onto a white wall. Seeing myself at that age in front of everyone, even though I’ve seen this photo numerous times, it hit me hard. I was a different person then. I do not feel it was fair that he was only sentenced to 30 years. Other people who trafficked one female usually get thirty years but here we had four gay men testifying, and he only gets 30 years. I think we can all assume why.
How do people usually react when you tell them you are a survivor of human trafficking? How would you like them to react?
For years, people quickly changed the subject. Now that I have proof, their reaction is much different. Most people apologize and are shocked. I love when people ask questions and want to know more, but I understand it’s a tough subject for many survivors to talk about.
Do you believe your sexuality made you more vulnerable to human trafficking? Why?
I feel that my sexuality was the only reason I was trafficked. My parents kicked me out because of my sexuality and Jason found my vulnerabilities because of my sexuality. If I was straight, none of this would have happened.
What keeps you going in life despite all you have been put through?
I feel all my life I was in survival mode, so this helped me to survive all I went through but today, what helps me get through each day is working on my mind, body, and soul through exercise and therapy.
What is the best piece of advice you would give to a person who has recently escaped human trafficking?
Begin getting therapy immediately, even if you feel you do not need it. Do better for yourself. Eat healthier, stop drinking until you are stable, begin a fitness regimen, start writing and talking.
In your opinion, how can we best advocate against human trafficking? In other words, what can the average person do to help eliminate the exploitation of other human beings?
I believe to end human trafficking, we’ve got to hear all of the different stories from communities this is affecting the most. Once we have a better understanding, I feel we can begin tackling human trafficking as a whole. If we only focus on one type of survivor, we miss the opportunity to save others and we will never end trafficking. To help advocate, I say sharing stories of survivors, seeking education, and donating to organizations that are helping survivors move forward is the most helpful.
Can you tell me about the memoir you are writing? What do you hope your reader will learn from it? Have you learned anything about yourself in writing it?
The memoir I am writing tells my story from beginning to end. My main goal is to get to as many people as possible, so they can understand what happens when you give up on your child. I want to help educate people on how this happens to males and LGBTQ and also provide awareness for others so they can identify if this has happened to them.
I have learned so much through writing. I can now identify everything that happened to me and understand it through the eyes of an adult, so I can begin healing. I now know what it’s going to take for myself to become whole again. Writing has many ups and downs, but if you get through it, you’ll realize there are more ups because you grow and learn from your past.
Thank you, Jose, for telling us your story and answering my questions. I am looking forward to reading your memoir and seeing all that you accomplish!
