Grooming is defined as the progressive behaviors and created emotional connection used to manipulate and control someone in order to sustain abuse for a certain means.
There are many motives behind grooming, including obtaining sexual material, earning the victim’s trust or creating an accomplice, keeping the individual silent, and concealing prior sexual abuse. In the context of human trafficking, these tactics are often used to exploit victims, maintain control, and prepare them for exploitation.
Grooming can affect individuals of any age, gender, race, or sexual orientation, though children are the most common targets—particularly those aged 12 to 15, who account for over 70% of online grooming cases. Grooming is not an instant process but one that escalates over a period of time.
It is important to recognize that grooming is a type of manipulation. Grooming is an intentional, long-term tactic that uses manipulation tactics to establish reliance and prepare a victim for exploitation.
How Grooming Begins and Progresses
Groomers utilize techniques such as posing as a significant other, love bombing, gaslighting, offering to fulfill dreams and wishes, and by providing support whether financially, emotionally, or otherwise in order to manipulate their intended target. For example, Elizabeth Quiroz, in A Human Trafficking Survivor Shares Her Story, describes her previous groomer introducing and inserting himself into her life under the false pretense of being her “boyfriend.” Quiroz’s story demonstrates the tactic known as “love bombing” which is a manipulation tactic used to influence an individual through affirmations of attention and affection.
It is important to take into account that grooming occurs both in person and online. Statistics show over 80% of grooming cases taking place online via messaging apps, such as Facebook, WhatsApp, and Snapchat, with 75% of grooming cases involving an in-person meeting attempt. As previously mentioned, Quiroz had met her previous abuser in person and manipulated her under the guise of being her boyfriend.
Signs to Look For
Grooming, more than not, begins looking and feeling normal, even positive, but transgresses into something harmful that may be difficult to distinguish. It is important to be aware of red flags, resources for help, awareness, and knowledge on the subject matter, and the protective steps to take to prevent grooming.
Red flags include love bombing, large age-gap relationships, unaccounted for gifts or money, secretive behavior, going missing for long periods of time, always acting or looking exhausted, lying, abusing substances, losing access to ID like passports, drivers licenses, or social security, isolation from friends and family, extremely controlling behavior, abusive language, extreme intimidation and so on.
Survivor testimonials record a variety of ways that traffickers earned their trust, with statistics recording, “Eighty-eight percent (n=170) said the trafficker told them he would take care of them, 83% (n=161) said the trafficker bought them things, 74% (n=144) reported that the trafficker made false promises, and 73% (n=142) said the trafficker told them that he loved them.”
Barriers to Escape: Why Victims Remain in Trafficking
Some key factors that keep victims of grooming and trafficking with their manipulator include control, guilt, insecurity, children, finances, love, and promises.
Survivor Elizabeth Quiroz explains to Stop Modern Day Slavery why she couldn’t “just leave” her traffickers. Quiroz stated, “There were times that I would try to escape from my first trafficker, but he would chase me, beat me, and drag me back to the garage we were living in. There were times that I would have the Johns drop me off to a different location and my second trafficker would find me and get the money. There were times when I would be in debt to my third trafficker and I would hide from him and eventually he would find me, which led him to kidnapping me and keeping me until I paid him. I was so deep into the game, I couldn’t get out and if I did, where would I go? I ran to the streets to get away from an abusive home. I felt more safe in the streets than I did when I was with my own family.”
In the United States:
The National Human Trafficking Hotline is a 24-hour hotline equipped to handle calls from anywhere in the United States. The Hotline recommends:
- Calling 1-888-373-7888
- Texting 233733
- Online chatting
You can also submit an anonymous tip through the online reporting form.
For situations involving missing children or child sexual abuse material specifically, contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678) or through its Cybertipline.
Outside the United States:
If you are outside the U.S., contact your country’s local law enforcement or national anti-trafficking hotline. Many countries have confidential, 24-hour resources available. You can:
- Call your local emergency number
- Search for your country’s national human trafficking hotline or victim support services
- Contact local NGOs that specialize in victim services and protection
Aftercare and support are important. Recovery takes time, patience, and safe support systems. Survivors may benefit from:
- Ending all engagement and contact with the groomer or exploiter
- Challenging any feelings of self-blame
- Reaching out to trusted individuals or professional support networks
- Seeking trauma-informed therapy or counseling
- Prioritizing physical safety, mental health, and emotional stability
For those around victims and survivors of grooming, be sure to:
- Learn the signs of grooming and abuse so you can recognize them early
- Get involved with organizations or campaigns that work to prevent abuse and support survivors
- Be patient and consistent, recognizing that recovery takes time and may involve setbacks
- Respect boundaries and follow the survivor’s lead
Further resources for all parties may be found at:
- Stop Modern Day Slavery’s What To Do If You Suspect Human Trafficking
- Stop Modern Day Slavery’s Trauma-Informed Care for Human Trafficking Survivors
Bella Kent is a current student majoring in journalism, focusing on writing, editing, and reporting, while minoring in business. Her long-term goal is to attend law school to further advocate on behalf of trafficked/abused individuals, especially children. She is a devoted Christian with hobbies including running, writing, reading, thrifting and cooking. Through her involvement at Stop Modern Day Slavery, Bella looks to develop a stronger understanding of what trafficking looks like, ways in which it can be prevented, implementations to be made by the Government, and after-care.