Listening to the stories of sex trafficking survivors provides an invaluable glimpse into the horrors of modern day slavery. In this interview, Stop Modern Day Slavery founder Rachel speaks with Rebekah, a woman who had been sold for sex at 18-years-old.

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Thank you, Rebekah, for speaking with me today. To begin, I wanted to have you explain your experience in human trafficking before diving into the questions. Basically, I would like you to share your story in however much detail as you are comfortable with.

I was raised in the military and we were stationed in Hawaii at the time. I was 18 years old and met a 23-year-old that was a miscreant, for lack of a better term. Of course, I thought I was in love. My parents hated him (for good reason) and would not allow me to see him. Although I was technically an adult, I still lived in their home and was required to follow their rules, as it should be. So, I “ran away” with this guy. 

We were in Waikiki and we went to a hotel room where two of his friends (pretty sure they were drug dealers) were staying. My boyfriend sold marijuana and other drugs that I was not aware of. I never did drugs. After a few days, he got arrested and I had nowhere to go. I could not go home at the time because of family issues. I decided to go back to the hotel room where his friends were staying and asked if they could help me. They were very nice and let me in. I have a lot of trouble remembering details from just talking and ending up in a situation that I never thought I would be involved in. I do remember that the two men took advantage of me that night. 

I was not a willing participant, but I was too afraid to say no. The next day, they told me to take a shower and they were leaving for an hour or so. They told me to stay in my towel. I didn’t understand this, and you have to understand that I was very naive and taught to listen and do as I’m told. I was always afraid to say no or stand up for myself. They came back about an hour later with a strange man. He was in the military and I assume he was on leave. I remember he had strawberry blonde hair and was fairly quiet. He didn’t speak to me but only spoke to the two men. I was told to take the towel off and turn around. I was very scared and completely humiliated. I was extremely modest. I heard the guy say “ok” and then the men pulled me aside and told me he was going to have sex with me. They said my name was “Lisa.” They told me they would be outside the door and it would take 30 minutes or until he was finished. I was told to tell him afterward that I had no family and I’m trying to raise money to go to college and give a sob story so he would tip me. I felt very uncomfortable with that and I am not a good liar. It took him about two minutes to finish and while he was getting dressed, I started telling “the story.” He pulled a $10 bill out of his pocket and threw it at me hitting my face and said, “you’ll get a lot farther in life if you tell the truth.” I was mortified. I wanted to tell him I had never done this before and I don’t want to be here and this is not who I am, but he was so mean about it, I just put my head down and he left. I never received any money for this encounter or any encounter. I was given food and a place to stay. The two men would take turns with me every day and sometimes more than once a day.

The next encounter I remember was three men that were brought in. I was told they would all be involved at the same time. I was so nervous and had no clue what to do. I just went inside myself and the only thing I remember was one of the men saying, “Lisa… Lisa… Lisa.” It gives me the creeps 36 years later. I don’t even remember what the other two men looked like or what they did to me. I wasn’t there. Again, I received no money. I received food and a place to stay.

Another encounter was with a man that looked like a regular dad with a dad mustache. He seemed very grateful and asked if I would let him kiss me. Being someone who couldn’t say no, I let him kiss me and it was incredibly uncomfortable because I could have been his daughter. I received no money. I was given food and a place to stay.

One day, a street prostitute was brought up to the room and they had a discussion about her training me to go on the street. I remember her telling them to send me over and she would dress me up. I was terrified. Fortunately, that never happened.

I was locked in the room for about 10 days. There were many encounters that I have blocked from my brain for some reason. I do remember that I was so sore and chafed that I had to use a hot towel constantly to get relief from the burning. My boyfriend was released from jail and came to the hotel room and nothing was said about what happened. We just left. 

The strange part of this event in my life is from that point on, I thought I engaged in prostitution. I considered myself a prostitute and it fiercely and mercilessly attacked my self-worth and any value I held towards myself. I never told anyone and internalized it, until I went into therapy. Although, I ended up leaving my boyfriend at the time, it affected all my relationships and how I am treated. 

It wasn’t until I was in my early 40s after a suicide attempt, that I was told by my therapist that what I experienced was not prostitution. It was the first time I heard the phrase “sex trafficking.” She said “You didn’t make this decision. You didn’t get paid. You were manipulated. This was sex trafficking.”

About five years later, I got married. I never told my husband what happened to me, so on our first anniversary, I decided to open up to him, thinking he would wrap his arms around me and tell me how sorry he was that I went through something like that. It was the exact opposite. He got very angry and told me I should have told him before we got married that I was a prostitute because he probably would not have married me. I was devastated. 10 years later, when we got divorced, he told anyone and everyone that I was a prostitute before we got married. He has no idea how that affected my life. 

I’ve had two suicide attempts, not only due to this, but I’m sure by events, occurrences, experiences, and self-talk due to this trauma that changed my life and changed the way I viewed myself. 

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Many times, human traffickers manipulate their victims into believing that nothing is wrong. What made you realize that the situation you were placed into was human trafficking?

I did not realize or even know about sex trafficking. My situation happened in 1984. I was 18 years old. I thought I became a prostitute, even though I made no money. I only received food and a place to stay. No money was ever given to me. It wasn’t until I was in Intensive Outpatient Therapy after a suicide attempt, around 2006, that I was made aware that I was trafficked and not a prostitute. 

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This is the first time you have shared your story with the world. How does that feel?

It feels very scary and I feel very vulnerable to judgment. I don’t think people will understand the situation, my mindset, my fear of saying no and the power of manipulation. When I confided to my first husband and he responded with anger towards me, I never opened up about it again until recently. Only 3-4 people know, but no one knows the full details.

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What was your relationship with your family like when you were being trafficked? Did they suspect anything was wrong? What is your relationship with them today?

I had a very contentious relationship with my mom. My father was deployed a lot, so he wasn’t around as much. I entered into a relationship with a really bad guy. There was a very large wedge between my parents and I during that time. They did not like my boyfriend, but they had no idea what happened, and they still do not. My mom has passed away, but my father does not know this ever happened. I’ve never told him because it’s humiliating and because I don’t want him to hurt over it. I have a wonderful relationship with my father, and I had a wonderful relationship with my mother at her passing, although it was always rocky through the years. I was always the black sheep.

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What methods of coercion and manipulation did your traffickers employ to control you? 

They were very kind to me when I asked for help. I think they took me to dinner the first day. They were very complimentary and made me feel like they were going to take care of their friend’s girlfriend while he was in jail. After a couple of days, my shoes were removed from the room so I couldn’t go anywhere, and I also had no money to go anywhere. They made me feel like they were taking care of me by feeding me and letting me stay in their room.

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How were you ultimately able to escape? How was your transition from being trafficked to being free? 

My boyfriend was released from jail about 10 days later and he showed up at his friend’s room. No one discussed what happened while I was there, and I left with him. My transition was confusing because my boyfriend used the same tactics on me that my “captors” did. He took all my shoes and all the money so I couldn’t go anywhere, and he would be gone all day. I finally found a pair of very ugly shoes and $1 in quarters and went back home to my parents’ house. We decided that it would be best if I moved to IL and live with my best friend. This was the only way I could free myself from my toxic relationship.

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How do people usually react when you tell them you are a survivor of human trafficking? How would you like them to react? 

I don’t tell many people. I have told two of my adult children and they are very understanding and supportive. My boyfriend had a shocked reaction because that is not something anyone would ever think I would have experienced. I’m a normal, law-abiding citizen that raised five children and live fairly conservatively. No one would ever guess that the images consume my mind many nights. Every time I hear the name “Lisa,” I get a sick feeling in my stomach. No one knows those things. 

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Have you encountered any misconceptions about human trafficking survivors? 

I just know that it isn’t always what we see in the media or on documentaries. It could be an average person sitting next to you on a plane or someone you pass in a grocery store. Even women in marriages can be trafficked by their husbands and many people don’t realize that young men and boys can be victims as well. 

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What keeps you going in life despite all you have been put through?

I have had many struggles in my life and most days I just keep breathing. There are triggers and I act out in anger or sadness or depression, which confuses people because they don’t know and many times I don’t know. I have learned to analyze what I just heard, viewed, smelled, or experienced that could have possibly been a trigger. Having control over things in my life is important to me and certain things that might seem weird to others are imperative for me to control. It’s very difficult to lose my sense of control.

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What is the best piece of advice would you give to a person who has recently escaped human trafficking?

Seek therapy immediately. Cognitive therapy is the most important because it teaches you coping tools when those feelings of anxiety and depression and self-loathing come flooding back. There is nothing wrong with taking antidepressants to help as well…if needed. Seek out groups that include people who understand and don’t judge or insist on one way of handling your trauma. Everyone is different and validation is important. It is also important to not live in your trauma. Whatever way works for you, use that to move forward in your life. Withdraw from people that tell you to stop dwelling on it and just think positively. That is not healthy. You need to experience the grief and work through the trauma because that is the only way you can truly move on. 

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In your opinion, how can we best advocate against sex trafficking? In other words, what can the average person do to help eliminate the exploitation of other human beings? 

I am elated that awareness has become to the forefront in our society. I think we need to keep speaking about it on social media. I would like to see safe houses available for people trying to escape. Fundraising is obviously a way to do that and people coming forward to tell their stories. This was very difficult, but I understand the need to share my story. We are only as sick as our secrets. We also need to find these predators and get them off the streets, their celebrity mansions, their Washington D.C. protection, and get this evil out of our society. 

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Thank you so much, Rebekah, for speaking with me today. Your words are truly inspirational. I am grateful for the opportunity to share your story.